13 June 2012

I always derive confidence from the feeling of being significant or my ability to do things right. Exams make me feel so insignificant. :( Need to get back my confidence..

24 May 2012

감기 걸렸는데 일이 많고 끝날수없어서 넘 힘들어... 포기 안해.. 아직도... 끝까지... 나 행복 잡아라!!

3 May 2012

As time passes, one will change - everyone changes. Peer influences, self-principles and parental guidance - they played huge roles in shaping me into who I am now. It's odd to say this but when I reminisced my past, all I can say life can be unfair no matter how hard you try to obey to your principles. 

My first lesson that life is unfair occurred when I was very young. Maybe 7 years old? I was accused of altering my exam paper when I did not. I received a full 100 marks but due to a jealous classmate, he told my subject teacher that I altered my exam paper after she had marked it. So she deducted a few marks from my paper. When I looked back, Damn. I was so stupid and how can I not stood up against such blatant accusation? If time machine existed, I would have gone back to the past and teach my "little self" about not being too compromising. 

Those memory does haunt me until today. However, I do not hold any grudges on my friend that accused me (I heard he became a chef after graduating from high school). I believe in forgiving people but sadly, I am not a perfect guy. I may forgive but it's very hard to forget all the unpleasant memories. Sigh. Such memories served as hard reminders to not repeat them again. But when bad memories were uncovered, they left a trail of stench. They only further remind me that I am only an ordinary guy. 

 ** 

If I have a wish, I always wish for happiness (행복). Happiness for others, happiness for myself. If I am happy, I think I am already successful. Why would I want to crave for more successes when I am happy? Some people should really look at the bigger picture. 

Far away from home, I always crave for many simple things. Food like chocolate cake... no toppings... just a plain chocolate cake will do.. Hmmmn... Yummmm.... And yes, fruit cake too. Make sure it's packed with lots of dried fruits... raisins...  And if possible, some banana cake.. and... a slice of layer cake too... such things... Ahhhh... make me happy... now... I'm... hungry...

2 April 2012

Well, 오늘 맘 넘 아프다..
I think I can get everything I want
I am confident I can achieve whoever I want to be
I believe I can be who I want to become

하지만 하나만 잡을수없어..
찾았던 사람은 이제 사귀었어
오래 우리 알아도
항상 같이 있어도
난 바빴을때도 너위해서 안 바쁜다고 말했어

아..

그 같이 했던 추억 넘 고마워..
그 친구 사이 넘 고마워..
시간 줬던 순간 넘 고마워

ㅠㅠ

Am I dreaming? I hope I am still..

앞으로 이런 사랑,이런 느낌 Not going look for it anymore.

졸업 먼저 성공 먼저 다른 거 이제 다 필요없어
I think it would be better for me this way.
I want to be the most successful person
The richest, the most powerful, most influential..

Sigh.. 하지만 난 이런 사람도 아닌다.. 옛날에 걍 행복한 사람만 되고 싶어.. 이제?
사람 바꿀면 될까?

미안해.

25 March 2012

맘 아파... 왜 세상에는 경쟁 많이 있나?
사랑, 공부, 등..
난 이길수있지만.. 맘 아직도 정리 안해..

이럴게 일찍 하면 내 미래 걱정해
늦게 하면.. 기회 잡을수없어..

언제? 어느 순간?
맞을수있을까요?

7 March 2012

Everyday is tiring, stressful, unhelpful professors but I will persevere. Half way there already and it would very stupid to quit along the way~

1 March 2012

오늘 많이 심심해 ㅠㅠ 아이쿠 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ